Believe it or not, I don’t actually hate all musicians.
It’s true, I don’t. It defies logic in a way; just like the bus driver who hates anyone who asks him “how much is it to the city centre?” (like they haven’t been given the special implant that keeps you up-to-date with ticket prices), some sound engineers are just destined not to get on with some musicians.
In my short time in this industry, my experience with musicians has been quite good. I’m a musician myself, so it would be contradictory for me to spend my time complaining about them. There are some days however, where the engineer’s prejudice becomes suddenly clearer.
I’d like to think I’m a patient person, and that it takes a lot to piss me off. For me, what angers me most is people who are rude, or have an ego. I cannot stand egos. Even typing the phrase ‘for me’ just now made me feel so self-important that I actually winced slightly.
So when I’m working with musicians like this, it’s almost like working with two rude people (especially if they talk about themselves in the third person, though I can’t say I’ve experienced that one personally) because the majority of musicians will have their ‘stage presence’ and their ‘normal personality’ all bundled into one body. The smart ones know how to separate the two, which usually makes my job a whole lot more relaxing. Whether recording or playing live, making music should be a fun and exciting process for everyone involved (that sounds like I pulled it from a Butlin’s brochure, but it’s true).
A little ego probably helps when it comes to jumping about on stage, or recording vocals, guitar solos, and so on. Even then, a little is more than enough. There’s a big difference between ego and confidence. However, when it comes to introducing yourself to people you have to work with, there’s a risk that you’ll come across like you simply live up your own arse.
I remember back in high school being told that ‘a bad first impression takes 10 years to change’, and it’s true. It’s only during my sound engineering experience that I finally learned that. Normally I record with people I already know, but working in live sound, the bands are random. Literally anyone can walk through that door. That’s why I make a point of introducing myself, explaining exactly why I’m there, stretch out for a handshake and wait for a reply. It’s during those 30 seconds that I decide just how well we’re going to get on for the rest of the gig.
The majority of folk are fine with this basic social ritual. There’s a small minority, however, who fall at the first hurdle. I had one guy look at my outstretched hand like I had just picked up dog excrement and asked, “Wanna share?” After the failed handshake he told me “this place is smaller than our last gig”. I laughed it off, but I couldn’t help but wonder exactly what he wanted me to do about it.
“Yeah, sorry, I would have made the venue bigger for you, but I’d already put the walls in just before you arrived.”
A word of advice to all musicians out there: be nice to sound engineers. The music industry is a people business, so it’s good to make some friends along the way. It wouldn’t hurt to start with the person who controls how you sound.
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Jamie Hewitt is a musician and producer based in Dundee. 
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